My scattered thoughts lay here

Yet another facebook note article..

Today I was reading something on the ancient Greeks, and one particular piece of information stood out to me. It was about the sanctuary Delphi, where people came to learn of prophesies and ask about their future. According to the book I read (A Little History of the World by E.H Gombrich) there was fissure in the ground of Delphi (it’s a mountain by the way) from which vapor came out. And guess what? Whoever inhaled the vapor would get delirious. In other words, people got high from the vapor. Haha, and guess how the Ancient Greeks used it? They would make a priestess sit in the middle of the vapor and babble. Others sitting around her would interpret her babble, and make a prediction. 
So this is how the Ancient Greeks got their fortunetelling- from high women.
I think that it went something like this:

Gulliblius: Oh great oracle! I am plagued with the most sinister problem! My father has gone far to Sparta to proclaim a woman of little virtue in my name! I despise even thinking of it, nay, she has a brain that would put Aristotle and all his descendants to shame! And I love another, a woman of great virtue, integrity, beauty and courage! Yet, my family is suffering from poverty of the worst kind, and this joining of our families would make those troubles go away! Tell me, great oracle of the magnificent Sun God, Apollo, what should I do? Have the heavens a plan for me?

High Priestess (double meaning): Thy wound is deep…

Interpreter1: The Oracle speaks of the wound of the heart… never to be healed again…

Gulliblius: (scratching chin and nodding): I see

HP: Thy wound shall be taken away by the Sea…

Interpreter2: The Oracle predicts help in the form of the great sea-god, Poseidon!

Gulliblius’s eyes are the size of oreos

HP: ….a horse….

Interpreter1: Sea-change! Poseidon shall grant you the power of sea-change! You shall change into a horse! (*sea change is the ability to change into any animal you want…cool, huh?)

HP: Travel into sea… mate with Leo….

G: Huh???

Interpreter2: Shush boy! She meant change into a sea-horse, travel by sea to athens and tryst with the sphinx! Solve the riddle of the sphinx! 

HP: (giggles): Ahhh, Leo… you old dog!

Interpreter1: The Oracle warns you of the danger of the elusive Sphinx! Guess her riddle not, and face grave peril!! 

Interpreter2: But guess the riddle right, you shall. Thereafter, you must hide from the townspeople, for they shall be angered by the trespass of a stranger… and live the life of a beggar with the dogs!

G: O-k…

HP: Hahaha! Skittles! Rainbows shit skittles! Ahahah!

G’s eyes are as big as Oreos again…

Interpreter1:(gravely): The first day you see a rainbow, do not feel frightened or skitter when-

G: Umm, excuse me, but um… I ahh, think she said Skittles…

Interpreter2: The candy? (*don’t ask me how they know about skittles… i saw this happen with my own two eyes… sitting under the fissure of Mount Delphi… ) 

G: Yeaaahhhh..

Interpreter1: Nonsense boy, it hasn’t been invented yet! (*man they’re smart!)

G: But…

Interpreter2: Shush! The Oracle is seething to talk…

HP: Woman… blue eyes… red lips…

G: Doris? My love? Tell me! Do you see her?

HP: Hate them, they’re such bitches…

Interpreters look at each other

Interpreter1: Umm, ahh..

HP: Hey, haha, hey, my hands are pooping rainbow skittles! Ahaha! Hey it’s so- whoa, why is that bunny-turtle eating the sky? Ahaha!

Interpreter 1: Ok… umm…the oracle has spoken!

Gulliblius: Huh? What?

Interpreter 2: He said the oracle has spoken, sweetie.

Gulliblius: I kno—Yeah, I heard, it’s just… I think I umm, need clarification on what the…umm, High Priestess meant…

Interpreter 1: Oh boy, you’re not too bright, are you? Ok, we’ll interpret your oracle…AGAIN….Let’s see.. the green the High Priestess spoke of is the long journey ahead that awaits you..

Gulliblius: No, wait, she said I was green..

Interpreter 2: Shh boy, the unwise are best not to speak

And so on and so forth….

Hope ya enjoyed! 
I see much pain in your IB future! with skittles!

* Making bio, chem, math, physics or econ jokes….or heaven forbid, laughing at them!
* Talking/Thinking TOK. E.g. 
Friend:Whoa, Tiger Woods is such a jerk! I mean how many girlfriends do you need?
IB Student: How do you know he was cheating on his wife, let alone that he had a multiple number of mistresses?
Friend: What? Why are you talking like that? 
IB Student: Your rebuttal is unsatisfactory
Friend: Ok… well, there’s that message he left on this one girl’s phone..and there-
IB Student: Yes, but how do you know that it was really him? 

This is the point where a slap to snap out of it is necessary. Before he/she starts talking about whether cheating is really morally bad, and what constitutes as morally bad, and what gives the media the right to judge Tiger Woods. In fact, who really knows what really happened between the two? The media in general is like a moral judge that——-……OH NO!!! I need a slap!

* Doing hw that is not due the next day when you can’t sleep.
* Requesting to have 4 or more HL’s as a junior. I don’t care what you’re university app plans are. Are you Superman? Wonderwoman? Dexter? Got all the cheat sheets for the exams? No? Well then…
* This one is courtesy of ibquotes.com: Reading TOK yo! when it says Tokyo 

On the other hand, these are acceptable behavior from your IB friend:
* Crying over a calculator
* Skipping school to do hw
* More whining than the average student- You want to whine about a 500word essay you got, while we have to finish a 2000 word essay in a day? Yeah, I thought so.
* Not sleeping… Insomnia? Ahahaha, I wish! 
* Wondering if you could fake a mental disability to get more time at the exams
* Breaking down, crying and wanting to die rather than finish the IB
* Breaking down, crying and laughing maniacally.
* Breaking down, crying and laughing maniacally, dyeing hair green and walking around hugging a teddy.
* Breaking down, crying and laughing maniacally, dyeing hair green, walking around hugging a teddy and still finishing that 2000 word historical investigation.

Another humor article

Have you ever felt like out-nice-ing people? When, for courtesy’s sake you top a compliment with a bigger compliment, and then they do too? There’s always one winner..It can turn into deadly competition sometimes… Take a simple goodbye for example.

Tsogtoo: (to himself) Ene udaa bi diilegdehgue….. (Translation: I won’t be beaten this time…)

Classmate Dave comes into the room

Tsogtoo: Yo, what’s up man? You leaving?
Dave: Hey, yeah man, I’m so tired..
Tsogtoo: Ok, well, bye then
Dave: Oh, ok, bye! See ya man
Ts: See ya!
Dave: Have a good afternoon! Good luck
Ts: You too! Have a great rest of the day!
Dave: *sighs, It’s all homework bro, you know how the IB is… Oh, good luck on studying for the math test! 
(Dave starts to walk out of the room…)
Ts: Yeah, you too! Oh, good luck on the historical investigation draft too! 
(Dave suddenly stops, and seems to be fidgeting)
Turns around:
D:Yeah, gotta finish that, right? Ahah, Good luck on ALL your studying today dude!
Ts: (thinking to himself): Ooooh, he’s gooood, but I’m betta!
Ts: Yeah, and good luck tomorrow on the actual test too! And, you know, handing the investigation in and stuff (leans back on chair casually)
D squints eyes…There’s a moment of silence
Ts: (smugly) Well, I gotta get going too-
D: You know, this week’s such a tough week, I probably won’t be seeing ya much anyway, so I just wanna say good luck this whole week! :)
Ts: YEAH!? WELL….*coughs.. Well, actually good luck this whole month man :D. Cuz I’ll probably forget…ya know
D: Yeah, what the IB can do to your memory, right?
Both laugh nervously
D: Well, you know, I just wanna say, good luck this whole year Ts-Dog! (attempts to fist bump Tsogtoo…awkward…) 
T: Haha, well, might as well wish ya luck on the IB too, right? Good luck on that! (jokingly buddy-nudges Dave)
Silence….Ts is waiting… sweat beads trickling down his forehead….
D: Thanks. :), oh, my ride’s outside waiting, I gotta…..
Tsogtoo can’t believe his ears…
D: Good luck and god bless you on your uni apps and college in general, aight? 
Dave makes a run for it
Ts: OH, NO YOU DON’T!!!!!
Tsogtoo runs after Dave and tackles him to the ground. They struggle for a while on the ground.
Ts: I’m Atheist! That doesn’t count!!!!!
D: Yeah, well, I’ve got TONS OF other stuff man! I’ve been doing this for years…Birthdays, church… My mom denied me candy when I didn’t say my please and thank you’s! You think you got what it takes? You ROOKIE?! *Screams. BREAK A LEG ON YOUR APP TO NYU!!! (Sucker punches Tsogtoo)
Ts: SHUT UP!! My mom pinched me whenever I didn’t say just one single thank you! Birthdays? Ha, try family gatherings! You know how hard it is to stand and get kissed by your Aunt Eegii, when her breath smells like rotten egg salad kept in gym socks? DO YOU!? YOU’RE the amateur! (Pulls on Dave’s ears) I HOPE YOU MEET THE WOMAN OF YOUR DREAMS!!!
D: F*** YOU!!! (Kicks Ts off; stands up, face red) I’LL PRAY TO GOD YOU FULFILL YOUR DREAMS OF BEING AN ASTRONAUT EVEN IF YOU’RE ATHEIST CAUSE THAT’S HOW NICE I AM!!! (Puts index finger in mouth, getting ready for a wet willy) 
Ts Dodges the wet willy, grabs Dave’s arm and twists it to his own ear
Ts: I HOPE YOU LIVE A FULFILLING LIFE YOU MOTHERF***ER!!!!! (Succeeds in the wet willy and quickly runs away)
D: COWAARD!!!! (Lunges, and grabs Tsogtoo by the ankle) 
Ts: NOOOOOOO!!!!! 
Ts puts his fingers in his ears
Ts: LALALALALALA!! I CAN’T HEAR YOU!
D grabs Tsogtoo’s hands and pin them to the ground
D: LISTEN TO ME! I HOPE YOU LIVE A RICH, HAPPY, F***ING WONDERF—- 
There’s a cough to the left of Dave and Tsogtoo. Both turn around. 
All the teachers are standing to their left. D and Ts get up awkwardly…
D: RUN!

Both run out of the school, panting.

Ts: Hey man, I’m sorry about…
D: Yeah me too, haha. We were stupid…
Ts: Ha, well, I started it
D: Nah, man, it was really my fault. Trust me, I’m sorry.
Tsogtoo squints his eyes again…
Ts: No man, since I started it…
Dave yells and tackles Tsogtoo to the ground where they resume their fight.

The End.
I HOPE YOU HAVE A GOOD TIME READING THIS!!
NO, NO, I REALLY HOPE YOU DO!!!
IN FACT, GOOD LUCK AT SCHOOL!

Cuz some things just won’t go to plan…
Actually a lot of things don’t go to plan :(

Ideal First Date: 
You dress up in your best looking outfit, which dream guy profusely compliments on. You blush and notice how even hotter he looks than before and spot a six-pack. He’s planned to hang out in a cafe (your favorite one! oh, how did he know? did he look at my hi5?) and watch a movie. He says the movie is a new romantic comedy, and do you mind? You try not to squeal that you’ve been dying to watch it for weeks now, but instead smile (making sure your dimples protrude) and say, of course not. You have mind-blowing conversation in the cafe and discover that he likes the same things you do. Dreamy pants reaches for your hand and you have a nice moment. 
The movie is awesome, and you both laugh at the same times (he has the same sense of humor you do!). During the movie, you smile to yourself cuz you find out that dreamy has done the ol’ yawn and put your arm around the girl move. Such a romantic…
He walks you home and kisses you on the cheek. *Sigh. 

Actual First Date:
You try dressing up in your best outfit, and not satisfied, dig through your sister’s closet. After half an hour, you show up at the place, a little late. Normal guy says hi, and compliments you on how fast you got there. Sarcastically. Yeah… You ‘um’ and say an uncertain thanks and notice pit stains and spot a pimple on his forehead. Oh well, you think, we’ll have a great time. 
You stand there for an awkward minute or two, before asking him what you’re gonna do for the date. Guy looks up, umms and ahhs, before suggesting a greasy burger place and a movie after? You say sure cuz after all, there will be the mind-blowing conversation, and you’ll charm him and discover that you two are really compatible and later it’ll lead to——damn…this is awkward… Why isn’t he saying anything? He’s just nervous. You ask “So, that math test was brutal!” He looks up and agrees with a resounding “Yeah! I know!”…before looking down at his feet again. What is down there that’s so interesting? Hidden booty? A PSP? Maybe he’s texting! No, he wouldn’t do that, he’s not that rude…What if he’s texting his friends about me? I heard he dated Anujin from the other class last month, what if he’s comparing?! Stupid Anujin with long swishy hair, and pointy nails….To spruce up the date, you sit up straighter and try to tell a joke “Hey, knock, knock” Raised eyebrow “It’s an american joke, just say who’s there?” Silence….”I’m not american…neither are you…” “Yeah, well…still…” “Oh…well…” Is he just plain invalid? Is it a sickness? Why didn’t I research him? No, no that’s creepy. Is he nervous? Try starting conversation again! “Hey, I like your…” A hoodie, a t-shirt that has a picture of Borat on it- I never got why that got so popular!- boring sneakers…why did I agree to go out with him again? “Umm..I like your… hands” Oh god, did I just really say that? Raised eyebrow again “Um, thanks” Is this his idea of a date? Is this why he asked me out? Does he get a kick out of not talking and just sitting around? God!….
Stupid action movie, I bet he picked it just to see Megan Fox… 
Well, at least he’s waking me home like a- wait, what? You’re leaving? To play video games?! At home!? *Sigh…..

Ideal First Party: (I know this is getting looong, sorry)
Dressed in your awesomest outfit, you head on to the party. You don’t know many people at the party, cuz your friends didn’t wanna go but after talking to a couple of people, you are a gem! You integrate into the party and have an awesome time. Oooh, cute guy! He noticed me! He flirts with you, and you end up talking for a long time, ending with him asking you out on a date. Smiling, you go back to the party scene. One of your new friends compliments you on your outfit and do you wanna go to the clubs? Uh, Yeah!!! 

Actual First Party:
Dressed in once again borrowed clothes, your parents insist on driving you there. Not enough that you had to beg them to let you go, and they actually had to talk to the kid having the party, huh? Oh, geez, do you have to honk the horn?? Cheeks flaming, you go in. You try to talk to some kids you know-ish (acquaintances, do you call them?) but, ugh ok, that look was not necessary! What, do I look like I have the plague? 15 minutes later, you head out cuz you can’t find anyone to talk to and to get some breathing space..Oooh, cute guy! Hey, he’s heading this way! It’s actually happening! Oh my god, is my make-up right? Reflective surface, reflective surface…oh, the window! Never mind, it’s too late. Eeek! 
“Hi” he says. Your mouth dries, you start to answer..”Hey, nice red spot!” yells a guy from inside. My period! Noooooo!!!!!

This is the end of the first series. Like Saraa said, it’s kinda depressing. 
Other stuff will be on the way though! 

Hope you liked it :)

I have a bunch of humor (humour? british? english? american?) articles that I’ve written for some time now that I put on facebook (ma notes). Thought I’d add them here too…

 I decided to write an article-type thing every now and then, just for the heck of it! (yeah yeah, i said ‘heck’ like i came straight from a cheesy 50’s show- deal with it)
So here’s my first ‘article’ titled ‘first’ (how fitting)

Ideal First: (by the way, Im writing this from a Mongolian girl angle) Day at school (ever)- You come in, every smiling, sunshiny smiled head turns, every girl in the class is holding a cool barbie for you to play with your barbie (which of course is incomparably the prettiest, coolest, latest, nicest dressed one of course). There’s candy and chocolates and drinks on the table. You basically do the same things you did in kindergarden, and play around all day, only you’re a FIRST grader now. You’re all grown up! There’s no need for the stupid teacher to make stupid rules and make you sit down when you wanna go and check out those cool new shoes that light up. 

Actual First Day at school: 
You come in, every piercing, curious head turns, and no girl has a single barbie out (you hide your barbie behind your back and slide it in your backpack). Instead, everyone is sitting all boring and behind a desk. Where are the cookies?!?!!?! Where are my choco chips?!?!? The teacher starts talking about math and all those stupid boring things you ignored in kindergarden. Who cares? 3+4 equals 6, everyone knows that! Oh… Ok, just give me my choco chips woman!!! You give up, and decide to ask during nap time. 
During break, you discover the girl at the next table has the latest talking barbie and is showing it off. You shift uncomfortably and say you left your barbie at home (the rock star outfit now seems too pink and weird). Break’s over. What? But what about naps? When can I have sleepy time? No, I will not sit down, YOU sit down! I’m in first grade and you aren’t!
What’s detention? The principal is looking mad…WHERE ARE THE COOKIES!!!?!?!?!

Ideal First Day back at school:
You come in, teacher gives a warm welcome and comments on how much weight you seemed to have lost. In fact, she says you’re looking much prettier, and come to think of it, she was so wrong about scolding you last year for texting in class, and making you read the text in front of everyone. She feels absolutely bad about calling your parents and getting you grounded for week, how silly was she! 
You sit down, and notice that snobby girl who always shows her new phone, ipod, clothes, etc etc (previously girl who showed off talking barbie) got a pimple on her forehead. Your crush from last year is looking at you furtively and you pretend to ignore him. That’ll teach him to show off your SECRET letter to his friends. There’s a new guy anyway.

Actual First Day back:
You come in, teacher glances up and tells you to sit down at the back, because there’s assigned seating this year. You turn to look she’s making you sit next to the guy who picks his nose behind his hand (how obvious can you be?!) and pretends not to. The guy who gave YOU a secret letter, which you quietly turned down, but he ended up telling everyone how mean you were and you ended up looking like a jerk. Goddamn cow of a woman! Teacher now looks at you from her stupid glasses and makes a joke about your text from last year. Everyone laughs. Why must some teachers have nothing but EVIL sense of humor? Why couldn’t they develop normal senses of humor? 
Great, show off snob got a new prada bag, and the new guy is flirting with her. Later in class, you ask your old crush a math question, he raises his eyebrows and shifts uncomfortably. You sign and ask nosey next to you, and HE raises his eyebrows and shifts uncomfortably. Oh dear. Another 9 month hell-hole.

I’ll write more on First’s next time.
Hope you enjoyed it!

This is the latest one

Nothing on You by B.o.B really is a sweet song. If a guy really means it, it’s a beautiful song. But what if it’s used as another device for manipulation by some guys for want of bootay? Have no fear! The ultimate come-back is here! (sorry tselmoon)

For the nerdy guy (for the possibly gross and jerk ones)

Beautiful girls, all over the world
You would be chasing
But your time would be wasting
Cuz they wouldn’t look at you baby 
Not with those pimples
They would be high 
Or you’d have to lie
That you’ve connections
that’ll get them gigs
Cuz they got nothing on you, hobbit
Nothing on you, haha

For the ones who think they’re all that

Beautiful girls, all over the world 
You can be chasing
But you’ve broken the hearts of all the ones here
So you’re hitting on me, baby?
Now that’s really gross
I don’t care 
about your six pack 
Now why don’t you scram 
and check out those ‘racks’
Cuz you got nothing on me, meat-head
Nothing on me (walk away for dramatic effect)

For your boy fiend who you suspect and who is very surprised as you’re actually singing this to him in a very very drunken state 

Beautiful girls, all over the world 
You will be chasing 
And panties you’ll be taking
Cuz I’ve got nothing on them, do I?
Don’t lie to me! You bastard!
They will be whores 
And you will be happy
for a while but you’ll be
sad and lonely in the end
Uh-huh SAD AND LONELY! YOU BASTARD! 
(break down crying for dramatic effect, as boyfriend rolls eyes and carries you home while you sing 2 or 3 times again, slurring the words) 
CAUTION! Last one may cause extreme embarrassment and for you to not leave your room for several days. Boyfriend will actually in most cases have been faithful the whole time, hehe

Lyrics are the most important part of a song...at least to me. 

A song is a poem around a tune. So you can well understand if I can hate or love songs based on the lyrics. 

Of course, those  whose songs lyrics AND tunes are mixed beautifully, I can never get enough. 

And I think Jason Mraz is one of those people. 

These are the lyrics to his song, Mr. Curiosity...

hey mr. curiosity

is it true what they've been saying about you
are you killing me
you took care of the cat already
and for those who think it's heavy
is it the truth
or is it only gossip
call it mystery or anything
just as long as you'd call me
i sent the message on did you get it when i left it
see this catastrophic event
it wasn't meant to mean no harm
but to think there's nothing wrong is a problem

i'm looking for love this time
sounding hopeful but it's making me cry
love is a mystery
mr. curious...

come back to me

mr. waiting ever patient can't you see
that i'm the same the way you left me
in a hurry to spell check me
and i'm underlined already in envy green
and pencil red
and i've forgotten what you've said
will you stop working for the dead and return
mr. curious well i need some inspiration
it's my birthday and i cannot find no cause for celebration
the scenario is grave but i'll be braver when you save me
from this situation laden with hearsay

i'm looking for love this time
sounding hopeful but it's making me cry
and love is a mystery
mr. curiosity
be mr. please
do come and find me
find, find me
oh ,come on oh, yea yea
(opera break)

i'm looking for love this time
sounding hopeful but it's making me cry
(trying not to ask why)
this love is a mystery
mr. curiosity
be mr. please
do come and find me

love is blinding when the timing's never right
oh who am i to beg for difference
finding love in a just an instant
well i don't mind
at least i've tried, well i tried
I tried...

Also listen/look up the words to Plane, Prettiest Friend and Details in the Fabric

Eda how do I respond to your comment? I’m a bit of a tech idiot

Anyway, to anyone reading this in general, my comp broke down, I tried redoing everything all day- only in IB do you stay home so you can finish homework-(though yeah, with a lot of procrastination at times…sue me, I’m young!) but cannot finish my math portfolio… So am redoing it by Monday…when all UBC supplemental stuff will be due…Oh, and also redo my bio lab…and write an essay for mongolian…by TOMORROW!

Life isn’t easy, you don’t always get what you want, bla bla bla I KNOW I KNOW!

But can’t it take it easy and spread the stress out evenly?

Ok, then you might be saying “Life doesn’t choose how it messes your life up” or “You’re not the only one”

Screw you if you thought that, I just wanna vent man.

I wish I at least had art tomorrow…it always cheers me up…

my computer broke down, and the hard drive got burned or sth..so did my portfolio, which is due tomorrow!

I’m anxious, annoyed, blablabla….

O_O