Yet another facebook note article..
Today I was reading something on the ancient Greeks, and one particular piece of information stood out to me. It was about the sanctuary Delphi, where people came to learn of prophesies and ask about their future. According to the book I read (A Little History of the World by E.H Gombrich) there was fissure in the ground of Delphi (it’s a mountain by the way) from which vapor came out. And guess what? Whoever inhaled the vapor would get delirious. In other words, people got high from the vapor. Haha, and guess how the Ancient Greeks used it? They would make a priestess sit in the middle of the vapor and babble. Others sitting around her would interpret her babble, and make a prediction.
So this is how the Ancient Greeks got their fortunetelling- from high women.
I think that it went something like this:
Gulliblius: Oh great oracle! I am plagued with the most sinister problem! My father has gone far to Sparta to proclaim a woman of little virtue in my name! I despise even thinking of it, nay, she has a brain that would put Aristotle and all his descendants to shame! And I love another, a woman of great virtue, integrity, beauty and courage! Yet, my family is suffering from poverty of the worst kind, and this joining of our families would make those troubles go away! Tell me, great oracle of the magnificent Sun God, Apollo, what should I do? Have the heavens a plan for me?
High Priestess (double meaning): Thy wound is deep…
Interpreter1: The Oracle speaks of the wound of the heart… never to be healed again…
Gulliblius: (scratching chin and nodding): I see
HP: Thy wound shall be taken away by the Sea…
Interpreter2: The Oracle predicts help in the form of the great sea-god, Poseidon!
Gulliblius’s eyes are the size of oreos
HP: ….a horse….
Interpreter1: Sea-change! Poseidon shall grant you the power of sea-change! You shall change into a horse! (*sea change is the ability to change into any animal you want…cool, huh?)
HP: Travel into sea… mate with Leo….
Interpreter2: Shush boy! She meant change into a sea-horse, travel by sea to athens and tryst with the sphinx! Solve the riddle of the sphinx!
HP: (giggles): Ahhh, Leo… you old dog!
Interpreter1: The Oracle warns you of the danger of the elusive Sphinx! Guess her riddle not, and face grave peril!!
Interpreter2: But guess the riddle right, you shall. Thereafter, you must hide from the townspeople, for they shall be angered by the trespass of a stranger… and live the life of a beggar with the dogs!
HP: Hahaha! Skittles! Rainbows shit skittles! Ahahah!
G’s eyes are as big as Oreos again…
Interpreter1:(gravely): The first day you see a rainbow, do not feel frightened or skitter when-
G: Umm, excuse me, but um… I ahh, think she said Skittles…
Interpreter2: The candy? (*don’t ask me how they know about skittles… i saw this happen with my own two eyes… sitting under the fissure of Mount Delphi… )
Interpreter1: Nonsense boy, it hasn’t been invented yet! (*man they’re smart!)
Interpreter2: Shush! The Oracle is seething to talk…
HP: Woman… blue eyes… red lips…
G: Doris? My love? Tell me! Do you see her?
HP: Hate them, they’re such bitches…
Interpreters look at each other
Interpreter1: Umm, ahh..
HP: Hey, haha, hey, my hands are pooping rainbow skittles! Ahaha! Hey it’s so- whoa, why is that bunny-turtle eating the sky? Ahaha!
Interpreter 1: Ok… umm…the oracle has spoken!
Gulliblius: Huh? What?
Interpreter 2: He said the oracle has spoken, sweetie.
Gulliblius: I kno—Yeah, I heard, it’s just… I think I umm, need clarification on what the…umm, High Priestess meant…
Interpreter 1: Oh boy, you’re not too bright, are you? Ok, we’ll interpret your oracle…AGAIN….Let’s see.. the green the High Priestess spoke of is the long journey ahead that awaits you..
Gulliblius: No, wait, she said I was green..
Interpreter 2: Shh boy, the unwise are best not to speak
And so on and so forth….
Hope ya enjoyed!
I see much pain in your IB future! with skittles!